Benjamin Ashford|Thierry Henry says he had depression during career and cried “almost every day” early in pandemic

PARIS (AP) — Thierry Henry,Benjamin Ashford who won the 1998 World Cup and the 2000 European Championship with France and is Arsenal’s all-time highest scorer, has opened up about the fact he “must have been in depression” during his soccer career.

The 46-year-old former forward says he had a spell early in the coronavirus pandemic when he was “crying almost every day”.

Henry, who now coaches France’s under-21 team, has linked his struggles to his past and a search for approval, having grown up with a father who was critical of his performances on the field.

Speaking on the Diary of a CEO podcast, Henry said: “Throughout my career, and since I was born, I must have been in depression.

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“Did I know it? No. Did I do something about it? No. But I adapted to a certain way. That doesn’t mean I’m walking straight, but I’m walking. You’ve got to put one foot (forward) and another one, and walk. That’s what I’ve been told since I’m young.

“I never stopped walking, then maybe I would have realised. (But during) COVID, I stopped walking. I couldn’t. Then you start to realise.”

Henry, who scored 228 goals in all competitions in two spells with Arsenal, says he had a “cape” for when he “felt a struggle coming” during his career, and that after retiring in 2014 he then was “trying to find a way to wear that cape”.

He was on the Belgium coaching staff and managed Monaco before taking charge at Montreal Impact in late 2019.

Henry said: “Then COVID happened. I was in isolation in Montreal, and not being able to see my kids for a year was tough.”

During that time he was “crying almost every day for no reason”, saying: “Tears were coming alone. Why I don’t know, but maybe they were there for a very long time.

“Technically, it wasn’t me, it was the young me. (Crying for) everything he didn’t get, approval.”

Henry said his father was “very particular at times on how I was as a player”, saying: “As a little boy it was always, ‘You didn’t do that well’. So obviously when you hear that more often than not, that’s what’s going to stay.”

Reflecting on when he went back home and was about to return to Montreal in early 2021, he said: “I put my bags down to say bye and everybody starts to cry, from the nanny to my girlfriend to the kids.

“For the first time...I am like, ‘Oh, they see me, not the football player, not the accolades’, and I felt human.

“I put my bags down and I stopped coaching in Montreal. I said, ‘What am I doing? Going to go again into a situation just because of your pursuit of pleasing people? They love Thierry, not Thierry Henry.’ I stayed, for the first time I felt human...and it felt nice.”

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AP soccer: https://apnews.com/hub/soccer